Abandon Decency All Who Enter Here

Retrospective of work I’ve yet to do - a blog.

As a writer I am constantly thinking up random ideas. I have a hundred ideas for stuff I would like to eventually write.

So here are few pitches for projects I’d like to work on, let me know what you think:

Sweet Sally’s Crazy Abortion Adventure: Sweet Sally is 15, kind of a slut, and is now in a bit of a pickle. You guessed it, she’s knocked up! Follow Sweet Sally through her crazy day as all she tries to do is get across town to the clinic and back in time for school dance later that night. All while avoiding a rabid group of militant Pro-lifers bent on saving the baby – at any cost. She will have to watch out for the Womb-Raiders, single, lonely women in their 40’s desperate for a baby and armed with their keys, and her boyfriend(s) who all want to have talk with her at the top of some stairs. Can Sally juggle it all and still make it to the prom in time for the electric slide?

You’re gonna love Sweet Sally, the down home girl with a can do attitude in this, her wackiest adventure yet!

HERMAN AND THE HOARDER: Herman is depressed, and for good reason, he’s dead – more importantly he’s a ghost. Now with his whole afterlife ahead of him Herman is ready to start haunting his first house, the house of Philomena Bill, a hoarder. Her house is packed to the gills with junk. Boxes of Old toys, broken TV’s, magazines, old Snickers wrappers, and about a dozen undiscovered cat skeletons. Despite his best efforts poor Herman’s haunting goes unnoticed. Resigned to living in hoarding hell, Herman is about to give up. Until a TV crew comes in to help Philomena tackle her hoarding problem. Can Herman make his presence known amongst the hysterics when a simple receipt from 1974 is thrown away? Can he spook the TV crew who are hiding behind hazmat suits? It’s up to Herman to save the day and scare the pants of off someone…anyone in this house of hoarding horrors!

BILLY AND THE EASTER EGG HUNT:  Billy is 11, and his favorite holiday is approaching – Easter.

Wait till you read the wacky fun when the neighborhood molester, Mr. Rivers throws an Easter egg hunt for the all the kids. There’s no chocolate this year – those eggs are filled with Nyquil!! Now it’s up to little Billy to save his passed out friends and their butt holes! Billy will have to overcome his dyslexia in order to read the clues that lead to Mr. River’s Basement of Uncomfortable Fun. Push his asthma to the limits to overcome Mr. River’s Gauntlet of Touching! And face off against Mr. River’s and his camera in the -we-don’t-tell-anyone-about-this-secret-room room. He may have four pairs of underwear on, but they might not be enough to protect his boy parts. Through it all Billy were learn the true meaning of Easter, something to do with Jesus, and attempt to save his friends with as little psychological scarring as possible.